Friday, December 29, 2017

New year, New you, New church!

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
2 Corinthians 5:17

In just a couple days, it will be 2018!  Wow this past year has been quick but amazing!  I could post about how this blog has now 65,000 readers or I could post the good that has happened in my life like getting baptized, but no, I want to talk about the new year, a new you, and a new church!  I want to talk about how all this can be possible!  But most importantly, none of it is possible unless you take God with you!

So let's talk about the new year!  What will it mean?  Well, it could be an amazing year, it could be an incredible year, it could be the year of a life time!  How you ask?  Well start with this, give your life to God, be baptized, and announce Christ as God's son who died for you!  When you walk with God and have him first in your life, everything else falls into place.  It is not always amazing, but I would not give my worst day with God to have my best day without Him again.  Even when things go down hill, as they will, I know I am not alone and I know that the creator of everything, well, He has my back!  The God who made me, the God who died for me, the God who was raised for me, well He did all that for you too and has our back!

This year, start it with Him and that brings us to a new you!  There is lots of resolutions that you can make, but the problem with that is they are stopped at some point only to be resolutions again the next year.  So, how do you get your new you?  Start with prayer, pray daily and make your life a daily prayer.  You know the nice thing about prayer?  You can do it any where!  No really you can!  You don't even have to get out of bed!  Now that you have prayed, read!  Just a couple minutes.  Start with reading the Bible, just a chapter!  To know how to be a new you, you have to read the book that will get you there!  Then I also include a meditation/daily devotional book!  This will only take a minute!  Yet it will open your eyes to different ways to look at God's word and help you know it better.  Now, what do you do?  Sing!  Yes, I said sing!  I personally choose songs that I have sung my whole life, but singing will help you open up and get energized for the day!  Okay, now, get on with your day.  And the good news, over the time, because you bring God with you now, you will be more apt to deal with the day.

You may be saying, how does all that make a new me?  Well simple, when you start your day with God, then you are able to continue your day with God.  And when you take God through your day, then you will be more apt to act as someone with God.  Think about it, when you are feeling God close to you, then you are more going to act in His ways.  How do you get close to God?  Prayer, reading the Bible, praising Him, and continueing it through the day!

So, now that we have talked about a new year and a new you, what is this about a new church?  Simple, we go to church to learn about God, be with His people who are the church, and grow.  Well, if you are living a new life, you may find that church becomes more too!  You may find that your church is needing to be new too!  Does it teach God, Christ, and their love?  Do you leave feeling uplifted?  Or is it pushing an agenda?  And is church being taught as being the building or is it the people?  Who is the head of the church?  Is the Bible even opened?

If you can't answer these questions, it is time to rethink things!  I am very proud of where I go to meet the church.  Westbury knows that Christ is head of the church and that the church is the people.  It teaches acceptance, love, and goes deep into God's word.  I know though, if it got into politics, if it started teaching things that are not of God, than I can go to the Elders and Ministers and voice my concerns.  Westbury Church of Christ is a new church!  I say that it is new not because of it's age as it has been around for some time now, I say it is new because it does not follow the norm.  It is an eclectic gathering of God's people that teach our job is to love God and grow in Him.  It teaches we are to tell others of Him.  It teaches that we are to be loving to all.

So if you can, change your church to look upon God's teaching again, but if that is not possible, come to Westbury!  Experience a conservative yet liberal, open, accepting, loving church!

This new year, be a new you, be a new church, and start it with God!  And so here is where I give you this, get baptized today and become a new being, being my brother or sister or what ever pronoun you give yourself.  Join a church home and belong to a community that will be there for you!  And live a life that others say, who is that?  Wow, I want what they got!

God can lead you to a new life, I can tell you how my new life happened and how good it is, but you have to choose it for yourself!  Don't go another day!  If you are ready for you life to change and be baptized, come this Sunday to Westbury Church of Christ at 10 AM and do it!  If don't want to wait till then, call me at 832-570-7023 and if I don't answer I will call you right back and we will set up a way to do it!  And most importantly, you need a community to support you, so join a church.  Though I would like you to join mine, but you don't have to, just get plugged in!

Here is to a new year and life!

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Promises of God

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
2 Peter 3:9

As I sit in a coffee shop far from home, I am pondering God's promise to us.  What is that promise?  One of everlasting life.  Yet I get so much more from God!  I am living a life I never dreamed of!  I am able to travel, have my own place, and a job that I can do and do good.  He has given me life!

Just thinking back to a couple years ago, when I was in death's grasp from the inside out.  I had no hope.  I wanted it all over!  And now, now that I am in Christ!  I want to live, I want to share His love!  What an amazing gift He gives us!

Don't get me wrong, it is not all hunky dory and a bed of roses.  I have to do my part and work in this life.  But He has restored the wasted years, made the hard days better than the best without Him, and brought me hope!

I am free to love, so are you!  Too often we choose to ignore, disapprove without love, and hate.  Just look at those that don't approve of the leaders, they hate them, they spit out words of hate.  And vice versa.  This is not why God sent His son to die for us!

So many talk about being loving, but who really are?  Do you give love to the stranger that just cut you off?  Do you show love to the ex that broke your heart?  Do you love the one that in your eyes sins in a way that can not be forgiven?

One of Christ's commandments is to love our neighbor.  That don't mean you have to agree.  That don't mean you have to like what they do.  But love them anyways!  Let me tell you I don't like Trump, I can't stand how he acts, and I hate how he treats people, but I show love for him by praying for him.

I once heard an old saying with a twist.  You have heard, "Love the sinner, but hate the sin!"  And oh how we have gotten away from that.  We end up hating the sinner.  I then heard something much better!  "Love the sinner and hate the sin in my own life!"  And wow how that takes me off of looking at what is wrong with them and now I am able to love the human being that they are and focus on my own sins.

God promises us eternity with Him, but we still have things that we have to do!  I see it as we are to clean up our own side of the street, allow Him to change our hearts and actions, give everything the good and bad to Him, let go of control, love others, and tell others about Him and what He has done in our own life!

What better way to show someone that you love them?  To tell them of the saving grace, the forgiveness that goes deeper than any other, and a love for them that expands time and distance!  To show them of the salvation that was freely given!  God doesn't want just one person to get to Heaven, He wants all of us to!  Christ died for all!

So as I sit here, I think of that promise of salvation, if I share it with others, and how blessed I am to have it.  Miles from home, but just a breath away from God no matter where I am and people all around that I can share His love with, even if it is just a smile to a stranger.

Friday, December 1, 2017

The Fear Tactic Against LGBT Community

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
1 John 4:18

It is amazing to me how many people think that fear will bring anyone closer to God.  You know how it goes, "Repent or you will go to Hell!"  or "You are an abomination!"  And the list goes on.  People think that they are going to scare you into what they have pictured as the only right way of thinking.

Yes, I believe it is not wrong to be gay, but that doesn't mean that I am going to be cruel or drive fear of someone that believes different than me.  Christ teaches us to love one another.  He did not meet people with fear and hate but love.  Did He ever tell a sinner you are horrible?  No, He showed love and compassion.

When did we get so far from the teachings of Christ and decide we could say who goes to Heaven and who goes to Hell?  I don't remember Christ saying you decide!  No, God is the only judge!  

Saturday, October 14, 2017

How Do You Know The Fruit Of A Person?

By their fruit, you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit, you will recognize them.
Matthew 7:16-20

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law.
Galatians 5: 22-23

It is amazing how many people assume that a person is living in sin when simply their life does not look like them.  Some say I do because I am a lesbian, but God's word does not talk about homosexuality like some believe it does.  That is a discussion for another time though.  Today we are talking about the fruit of the person.  More so, how do you know if a person is of good fruit?

We are taught that a person who bears good fruit is how we will know that they are of God.  And we are taught that good fruit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  These are action words.  They are things that we choose to do!

So how do we know we have good fruit?  How do we know we are walking with God?  How do we know we are the good tree?  Simple, we look at the fruit and see if it is part of our life.

Love:  Are we compassionate to others?  Do we care for others?  Do we put others first?  Do we pray for others?  Or do we just do this for some?  You can choose to love, it is not a feeling!  Before my walk with God, I had hate in my heart, but through prayer, love came to even those I hated in the past.  I was able to let go.  Now my prayers for the others are out of love and asking God to bless them.

Joy: This is a harder one.  No one has a good day every day.  But if you can sum up your life, is it full of Joy?  I used to cry daily and fight depression.  I was suicidal.  Yet since I gave my life to Christ, I have not had one suicide attempt and overall, I am happy with life and can't wait to experience different parts of it!  I have true joy.  You can too!  Joy is not being happy alone but excited about life and God.

Peace:  To have peace is to stop fighting everyone and everything.  It is giving things to God and not have to be the master of the seas.  I remember when I stopped fighting and let God have control.  It is every morning when I get up.  And my life is calm and peaceful cause I put myself in place and let God rule the day!

Forbearance: Do you have restraint and tolerance?  Do you say what you think and do the first thing that comes to mind?  I have learned to think and not just act.  I am not responsible for my first thought, but I am responsible with my second and my actions.  And so, therefore, I use this to help me know if something should be said: Should it be said right now? Should I be the one to say it?  Is it going to cause harm?  Is it helpful?  Keeping those questions in mind help from causing pain to anyone.

Kindness: Do you show the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate?  Or do you snap at people and go out of your way to avoid people?  Do you feed the hungry?  Do hug a stranger?  Do you reach out to the homeless?  My folks will tell you that I have never met a stranger and I hope it stays that way.  It isn't hard to be friendly, really you smile and treat another how you want to be treated.

Goodness:  Are you being good?  What does that mean?  Well, I find it obeying God's will, putting others first, and doing your best to do the next right action.  It again is not hard when you let God be in control and let Him guide you!

Faithfulness: Awe, do you stay true to God?  Do you stay true to your family? Do you stay true to friends? Or a job?  Are you different at each place?  It is one of those things you have to ask yourself.  It is sticking with something even when it gets hard!  And it is sticking with something when things are good!  Think about it, are you more likely to pray when things are good or bad?

Gentleness: Are you loud and a bull in a china shop or are you quiet and meek?  Do you lash out or do you speak softly?  Are people afraid of you and you like that?  Or are you the one people run to when there is trouble and know you will hold them and create a safe space?  I know for me that there are times I want to rant and rave, but then I remember it is not my job.  I remember that God is gentle with me and I must be gentle with others!

Self-Control: Do you have to run the show?  Do you throw a fit if life is not how you want it?  Do you just do what you want to do? When we let go control and give it to God, life is amazing!  Our eyes are opened up and the world is amazing!  When I find myself through trying to do things my way, not saying no to self, is when trouble hits.  I must remember, I don't have this but He does!

So there is the fruit!  Do they show up in your life?  I strive daily to ask God to have them in my life!  And you may be saying how do you know you are walking with God?  How do you know that you have the fruit?  You know because of how others see you.  You know because you are asking if they are there and striving to have them.  You know because your life is not stressed and you can go to bed at night with a clean conscience.

I don't wake up and fret about if bills will be made, I don't fret about being fed, I just know God will make sure all my needs are met.  Are there times I do?  Of course!  And that is usually when I am not aligned with God's will and doing my thing.

Now, this is where some of yall will be saying sinning is doing your thing!  You are right.  You may be saying you can't have the fruit and be a lesbian!  You are wrong. My walk with God and allowing Him to guide me is what produces the fruit.  You may say though, you are sinning by being a lesbian and accepting "that" lifestyle.  I don't see it as sin.  And yes I have read my Bible, I know of all the scriptures.  But I studied them, I don't see them meaning what people make them out to mean!  I also will hear, it was not the such and such translation.  I studied the original languages and again it did not mean what has been taken to mean today!

So, next time you meet someone, yes look at the fruit of their life, but don't assume they are not Christian or right in the eyes of God because of a label.   Our job, is to love God before all and love others before ourself.  And when you do this, you get the fruit and you know what it means to be one of His!

Friday, October 6, 2017

Adequate Life: Letting God Be Extraordinaire And Us Be Ordinary

Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.
2 Corinthians 3:5

I was challenged this week to strive to be adequate and not try to be the best at everything.  I have this inner-drive to be excellent in everything that I do, but I fail so often not to uphold my own standards for myself.  Why do we do this to ourselves?  We push and push to be more than we are.  Looking to be excellent, sure we are called to greatness, but at the same time, we should be adequate.

You are probably thinking what I mean when I say be adequate and great!  I could not put the two together at first my self.  Then it hit me, God is the greatness, I am the adequate.  I let Him be great through me and I don't rely on my own power to be great.  

God performs miracles, not me.  I do the ordinary.  When He had an angel get Paul out of jail, the angle could have put the shoes on Paul but told Paul to put on his shoes.  When Christ healed a baby, He could have put food in the stomach of the baby but told the father to feed the child. 

This tells me that I do the ordinary, I am adequate, God is the one that does the extraordinaire!   If I try to be excellent in everything, nothing turns out right, but if I am adequate, there will be times of excellence and low times but they will equal out.  And those times in the middle will still be good times.

I strive to be adequate and let God be extraordinaire.  May you too learn how to let God bring you to greatness by being the one that is great!

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

If You Don't Like Me Being Gay

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.
John 13:34-35

On my Facebook page, found here, there is many that post to it that are anti-gay.  

Here is just one of the quotes from the page:  "You can't be a lesbian and a Christian. In the Bible, the Lord calls homosexuality an abomination. I was a homosexual and was delivered and still delivered and set free. You can't go to heaven Gay. Read the KJV Bible. Not the NIV or queen James, THE KJV. The rainbow that's posted there it's not the homosexuals it's Gods Covenant."

Another one: "You can't be a Christian and be a lesbian, read the Bible your a disgrace to God!"

There are more than that that I could post, but what is the point.  It is the same thing, there is no such thing as a Christian Lesbian they say and to read my Bible.  I got news, I read it daily.  I am reminded of a saying: If God like me, I like me, and you don't like me, then the problem is with you!

So people don't agree with me being gay and Christian, I won't stop this blog and I won't stop believing what I do.  God saves us all when we accept Him and are baptized as the word says to do.  God has no say on homosexuality contary to popular belief.  And soon we will look at the scriptures that support this.  This is not the post to get into that though, so that means you have to come back for those.

God does have a lot to say though on love and hate.  He despises hate.  Yes, we are to love the person.  We hear all the time, "Love the sinner, hate the sin!"  But I say, "Love the sinner and hate the sin in my own life."  It is not my job to judge the person next to me, that is why God says to take care of the plank in my own eye first before I go to get the spec out of another's.

Does it make me sad that more people against LGBT comment on my Facebook page?  Yes!  I would love those that support would speak up.  Yet that is how it is, we speak up when we hate something or disagree with something and then when we do agree or like something we are silent.  I challenge you out there to speak up for what you like and not what you hate. 

I leave with this prayer.

God, your children are trying to take on the role of you!  They speak as if they are speaking for you and their actions do not show your love.  Help us learn to agree to disagree.  Help us show love.  And help us stand up for what is right and not just when we hate something.  In Your Son's name, Amen

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Stop Thinking And Let God

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Philippians 4:8

How often do we think we can think our way out of something?  We fret and worry and think about a situation every which way.  We gnaw on it like a dog on a bone.  We get all wound up in our situation that we become unable to do anything.

This is not what the Lord wants our thoughts to be on though.  He wants us to give things over to Him and then think on things that are good.  This is hard sometimes.  Especially when you are stressed over things.  I know for me this is true.

So how can you concentrate on good things?  I have found starting the day with God is a good start!  Pray for good, read His word, and ask Him to help you.  God wants us to think on good for several reasons.

One when we think of the good, we are not focused on the negative that life throws at us.  Two, we don't get depressed as easily.  Three, it is healthy for us to look at the good in life.  Four, we have a better outlook on life.  And five, we become thankful for what we have.

If we stop thinking so much and let God, it allows for the miracles to happen.  We just have to do the ordinary things in life and let God take care of the rest.  So what do you need to stop thinking about, give to God, and then just do the ordinary?

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Book Review: What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality by Daniel A. Helminiak

Here is what Amazon says about this book: 

Does God's word in the Bible really condemn homosexuality?...... Top scholars--like the late John Boswell of Yale, Daniel Boyarin of Berkeley, Bernadette Brooten of Brandeis, L.William Countryman of the Church Divinity School of the Pacific in Berkeley, Victor P. Furnish of SMU, Saul M. Olyan of Brown and Robin Scruggs of Union Theological Seminary--show that those who perceive Bible passages as condemning homosexuality are being misled by faulty translation and poor interpretation...... Danial A. Helminiak, Ph.D. respected theologian, and Roman Catholic priest explain in a clear fashion the fascinating new insights of these scholars...... The Bible has been used to justify slavery, inquisitions, apartheid and the subjugation of women. Now, in this book which has sold over 100 thousand copies, read what the Bible really says about homosexuality.

Here is what I say about it:

I really enjoyed this book.  It was very informative and had an easy flow about it.  I also like how the author makes notes about each source in the end.  I found myself not wanting to put this book down.  I recommend it to anyone that wants to know more about the Bible and its' views on homosexuality.  Very good book!

Friday, September 22, 2017

One year blog anniversary! The lesbian did it!

They celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness.
Psalm 145:7

It is hard to believe a whole year has gone by!  And how blessed it has been.  This blog has grown and now has had over 1,000 readers, each post being read at least 250 times, and several followers.  I am humbled by the acceptance of it and growth of it.

So what have I learned from this experience so far?  First is that no matter what keep writing, even when I am not sure anyone will get anything out of it.  I might just be the one that gets something.  Two, people respond when you least expect it and give encouragement!  Three, not all posts are good just like not all readers are going to be good, but they are all important.

The biggest thing I have learned though is that God is in control of it all!  I grew in my relationship with Him, learned His word better, and know more than ever my walk with Him is just that, mine!

I won't stop blogging, in fact, I will be more dedicated to it as I move forward!  It challenges me to be better, learn God's word, and therefore I hope it challenges you too!

So those that have been with me through the year, thank you!  Those just jumping on the ride, welcome!  And may we have a great future learning about God, sharing, and growing!

So what is to come?  Glad you asked!  I will have some more short stories out soon, poetry in the works too!  I am also working on some book reviews as I have about five I am working on now.  I also want to do a series on the scriptures themselves that deal with being gay and really look at them.  Maybe even get some blog posts where I interview different people.  I would love to get some of the authors and preachers I know to do a questionnaire and be on here.  And as always, suggestions are welcome!

Thank you again and know I love yall for reading this even if you don't agree with me!

Monday, September 11, 2017

Death of a Lesbian

That is what should have been said two years ago!  I was in a dark place, I thought dirt was more valuable than me.  I was in deep depression, in an abusive relationship, and saw no way out.  I thought the world would be better without me.  So, after a night of hearing how horrible I was, I hit a very big low and decided I had enough.

I can remember sitting on my bed and unloading all my pills into one pile.  I took a leather belt and attached it to the wall.  I sat there, crying, and wrote a final note.  I then downed every last pill.  I took a whole bottle of Latuda, Lamictal, Synthroid, Tylenol pm, and Advil pm.  I blacked out.

Three days later, I woke up in the hospital.  My mother was there and we just looked at each other.  I did not realize it had been three days.  I immediately wanted out of the hospital and get back to life since I failed.  Yet if you asked me, I did not want to live either.

I stayed two weeks in a mental hospital till I could prove that I was not going to do anything at the time.  When I got out, I stayed in a hotel as I no longer had a home to go to.  I worked and slept.  I was still in the dark place and thought about dying daily, but I could not figure out how to do it and be successful.

A few months went by and I decided something had to change.  I reached out, honestly reached out.  I got in touch with a preacher of my past and asked for help.  I didn't want to feel like I did and I did not know how to change.

I did not know then that my whole life would change.  I got honest with this old friend of mine for the first time.  I did not run from the pain.  I really wanted to change and I knew what I was doing was not working.

I did not know then that the work of God to bring me back to Him was already in place.  I was doubting my pagan belief and already made up my mind to walk from it, but I was not prepared for where I walked to.  I began going to church, I met with my preacher friend weekly, and I started researching things.

I had to do my homework.  I needed to know I would be accepted no matter what and that me being gay was not a big deal.  I started reading books, I started this blog a year ago, and I got busy.  Before I knew it, I was ready to dedicate my life to God and wanted to live.

So why have I written all this?  It is not to get a good job or apologize, but to show to people even if it is just one person, that things can change.  That there is coming back from the depths of suicide and depression.  That it can be done.

So what did it take?  How was I able to go from wanting to die to want to live?  The simple answer would be God.  But there was more to it than that.  There was a process to follow.

  1. Step one, let go of the idea of dying.
  2. Step two, realize things had to change.
  3. Allow someone I trust into my life to help me.
  4. Ask for help.
  5. Research for myself about things.
  6. Let go of old thoughts and ideas
  7. Let God into my life
  8. Let God work in my life
  9. Praise God for the work
  10. Decide to live again.
Sure there was more to it, like hours of talking things out.  And there were days that I had to force myself out of bed.  There were times I didn't want to work and times I didn't want to go to counseling.  Yet, even when I didn't want to, I went.  I was committed to changing my life!

To this day I still see my preacher weekly.  I don't feel right when we don't meet.  I have learned much about life and God over time through all this.  And I know a new freedom and joy of life.

If you are out there, you don't want to live but you don't want to feel that way, there is the help available.  Reach out, even if it is to a stranger like me.  Talk, nothing changes till you talk and get help. I will leave you with this final thought:

In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.
John 1:4

To live, we must die to self and it is then we find life in Christ!

Monday, September 4, 2017

I believe in you!

I have no scripture to go with this today, just words, my words.  I know usually, I try to tie in something but after looking, I did not find anything that I could use that said what I was trying to say.   
Isn't it nice when someone comes along and says they believe in you, right?  You say thank you and inside you get all hopeful.  Especially if you are having a hard time believing in yourself.  I speak from experience.  My faith in self is always going up and down.  Some days I can say I got this and others not so much.  Yet when one person says we got this, I believe in you, then my whole attitude changes.

So how does God say he believes in us?  Simple, He believed so much in us that He sent His only son to die for us.  What a powerful thing that is!  If you have read my blog, you know that I have a son, he is adopted out.  My love and belief in him were so strong that I gave him the life he could flourish in.  Not give him up so others could be saved.  God though, gave His son for us.  He said these people are worth saving and for that, there needs to be a sacrifice like no other.

When I asked my preacher what scripture to say for this, he reminded me of Romans 7 starting in verse 15 to verse 25.  It says:

 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature[d] a slave to the law of sin.

So there it is, though I am sinful, God says I will deliver you cause I believe in you!  A scripture that came to my mind as I wrote this is Deuteronomy 31:6.

Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

I have learned in the years I have been alive, that those that love you and believe in you are those that never leave you!  So here is God saying it!  How beautiful a scripture!  And if that is not enough then there is Hebrews 13:5-6.

Don't be obsessed with getting more material things.  Be relaxed with what you have.  Since God assured us, "I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you." We can boldly quote, God is there, ready to help; I'm fearless no matter what. Who or what can get to me?

God is there all the time for us and He believes in us more than we can ever imagine!  I will leave you with one final scripture.  I find this one of hope that says to me even when I don't believe in me, He does.  In Jeremiah 29:13 God says:

When you come looking for me, you'll find me.  Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed.

I have to look for God, but it is easy to find Him because He is right there with me and believing in me!

Saturday, September 2, 2017

When the floods hit.

"I establish my covenant with you: Never again will all life be destroyed by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth.”
Genesis 9:11

As we deal with the flooding of Houston, where I currently live, I am reminded that God will not flood the Earth totally again.  I can not imagine though how Noah must have felt with 40 days of rain!  I was going stir crazy with 4!  By the time I left my home, I was in a deep depression.  I will never go through a storm alone again.  

I am very grateful that my home was not destroyed, that I have a job to return to immediately, and food to still last me.  So many of my friends are not so lucky.  Some are staying in shelters, friends' houses, or hotels.  Some have lost everything.  And some have lost even loved ones.

Houston will recover from this, but like Ike changed us, this storm Harvey has changed us too.  For now, people are not caring what religion you are, what race you are, what sexuality you are, or what political party you subscribe to.  People are just helping people!

It is overwhelming the amount of generosity that has come out of this.  Strangers helping strangers.  People from all over the world donating to help.  People feeding each other.  It is truly a time the community has set aside differences and come together as one.

It would be nice we could take this from this point and continue it.  We may not have a storm seen on radar going on but may have an emotional storm or financial storm or family storm.  We never know what another may be going through.  Storms are not just physical.

I know for me when someone reaches for a hand of help, I will give what I can!  And sometimes it is just praying for someone, a hug, or time to listen.  Not caring about the differences that separate us but caring that we are all human and need help.

What are you doing today to help someone in a storm?  Are you in one and need help?  I don't do this often but I offer my number for anyone who needs help to call.  I may not be able to help in some ways like financially but I will help in what ever way I can.  Just call 832-570-7023 and know there will be a friendly ear to listen!

Friday, August 18, 2017

You've have no idea how a lesbian feels in a straight setting who don't accept completely!

I am a foreigner to my own family, a stranger to my own mother’s children...
Psalm 69:8

People just assume that there is no emotional recourse from them not accepting a gay person.  They just act as though it is okay.  Well, it's not!  When you are gay, you constantly wonder who will accept you, or at least I do!

You are careful who to let know at church, family gatherings, and at work.  You want to be open and honest about you, but you learn not everyone will accept so you don't say a word.  You don't deny it either, but you don't announce.  When they say when will you find a man, you just laugh and change the subject.  When they talk about dates, you just listen.  When the world is thinking straight, you have to accommodate to them.

There are times I want to say, stop!  I am gay, I won't have a man, I go on dates with a woman, I am gay!  Yet for safety, I don't say a word.  I could lose my job, my church, or family.  I am as out as I can be, but still, I can't just talk about things normally cause than others will react.

I dream of a day when me saying I am with a woman is not a threat to someone.  Why should it be?  It is not affecting them!  Who I date should not be a bad thing.  Yet, let's say at church, I am careful who I let know about dates.  I don't want to be judged and I don't want to hear their comments of condemnation.

So what does this do to a person and their psyche?  Well, it tells them that they are not accepted.  It says there is something wrong with you.  It says you are not wanted.  And we wonder why there is such a high suicide rate in the LGBTQ community, especially among teens!

If you are part of the LGBTQ community, you can't change the straight community.  But if you are part of the straight community you can change it!  Show acceptance and love to start with.  Don't make a big deal if someone is gay.  Be supportive and let them know that they are good people.

How we treat each other today is just saddening.  If we truly cared to follow God's commands, then we know we must love.  Love is an action word.  It means to be kind, be compassionate, be what you want to have back to you!  It means accept!  If we just learned to accept, we would find the world a lot better of a place.

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

What is it like being in the Church of Christ and a lesbian?

I think the questions I get asked the most is: Why the Church of Christ?  Are there not more accepting churches out there?  Won't I feel more acceptance at one of them?  Doesn't the Church of Christ condemn being gay? How do you deal with that?

These are good questions.  Let's start with the why question.  Simple, I grew up in the Church of Christ.  It is what I know and feels the most comfortable at.  It also helps that the preacher is a life long friend.  The Church of Christ has the values I want in my life, beliefs that I hold dear, and way of doing things that feel like home.  It is my spiritual home.

Yes, there are more churches out there that are more accepting of gays and lesbians, but I find them to be more about "look at how we accept you" than about being on the topic of God and Christ.  I want to go to church and feel like I have worshipped and got a lesson on God and not just told of how accepting of gays a church is.  This is one reason I love the Church of Christ, it is not pushing an agenda, just talking about God and all about Christianity.

Does the Church of Christ condemn being gay?  Depends on which one you go to!  The Church of Christ is autonomous and each one can choose what it holds onto in each subject.  For instance, some of the churches have musical instruments and some don't.  Some are liberal and some are conservative.  The one I go to believes that what you do in your personal life is between you and God.  That we are not there to condemn but to come as a body to worship God.

I have some in my church that doesn't approve of my lifestyle, some who tolerate it, and some that approve.  Yet each one of them accepts me as me!  This makes it very easy to deal with being gay in the church.  We teach "Love the sinner, but hate the sin in your own life and when you get rid of it, then go to your brother and help him."  None of us get rid of sin in our own life, not completely, so, therefore, we cannot go to our brother and fix his life.  We can pray for them though!

One of the reasons though that I stay with the Church of Christ though is how can I expect the church to grow to accept gays if I don't stay?  I am involved in helping people understand being gay and what that means.  I am there to show that we are humans too.  I am there for the next person that wants to come along and be part of.  I am there to help the parent of a gay child to understand their child.  If the church is to change, it needs people to be part of, not walk away because it is easier elsewhere.

The Church of Christ has come a long way, but it still has a way to go.  One day, I know it will be a church that gays are not scared to go to!  I will be there to see it happen and I will know that maybe, just maybe, with God by my side, I had a part to play in that!  So this is why I am in the Church of Christ and why I stay!

Friday, August 4, 2017

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Be a Rainbow!

Like the appearance of a rainbow in the clouds on a rainy day, so was the radiance around him.
Ezekiel 1:28

Those that know me know I love rainbows.  I am effectuated with them.  On my personal computer, there is a picture of one and it says "Be a rainbow in someone else's cloud" by Maya Angelou.  I think about this saying often.  What does it mean?  How can I be a rainbow?

In life, there are many dark clouds that seem to pour on us, but we can be a rainbow to each other by encouragement and giving hope.  I see a rainbow and it reminds me that the rain will stop and God's love that He won't flood the Earth.  When being a rainbow to someone, it is reminding them that this will end and that God won't flood them where they can't survive.

There are people that do this automatically and shine when they walk into a room, but for some it is work.  So, for those that it is work, here are some simple things to help:

  1.  Do your best to be positive.  We choose daily if we are going to be positive or negative.  It is easy to get all wrapped up in the bad and let the flood of things get us down to where we are no good to anyone.  Yet, if we look at the good, we will find that the storm ends quicker.  And when we are being positive, we can be that hope to someone going through their own storm.
  2. Pray for good things upon the people who have storms going on.  There is power in prayer!  It can change things and people.  God wants to be part of the rainbow making and He wants to hear from us.  So don't only pray for the person, but that you yourself are a rainbow to others.
  3. Share your experience, strength, and hope with the person.  Sometimes knowing others have gone through storms in their life and made it, helps the other person know that there is hope and that it will end soon.
  4. Give hope to people.  Let them know that nothing is forever and that there is a good side coming.  My preacher tells me that there have to be highs and there have to be lows, it's called life.  And it tells you that you are alive.  Think about it, do you want your heart rate to be flat?  No, it has peaks and valleys that let you know you are ticking along.  So remind people that there will be a bright side to the storm.
  5. Give them a hug.  There is power in human touch and giving a hug will do a world of good.  It says, "I am not alone!"  And it allows the other person to let down their walls and release the negative and be acceptive to the good.
Sure there are more things that you can do, but these are just a simple suggestions that could make the world of difference in someone's world.  We all must do our part to show a loving concern for each person and be a rainbow in someone's cloud!

Saturday, July 22, 2017

God's court room!

For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat.
Romans 14:10

The courtroom is filled, the scene is set.  The prosecutor snares, the Devil himself ready to present his case.  There is no jury as this is going to be just before the judge, the God almighty.  The defendant stands in the middle shaking.

"Lord, let me tell you of Sally Sue here.  She has a history of sins.  She stole, she lied, she had sex out of wedlock, she cheated on her taxes, she cheated on her husband, she divorced him, she has not one but two felonies...." Satan kept going with his list.  Sally just hung her head as she knew her case did not sound good.  She just knew that she displeased the Lord.

"Lord, she has done wrong, she is a sinner and she belongs with sinners, not in Heaven!  She is undeserving of you love!"

"Stop!"  The defense attorney yells out!  And Christ rises at this point.  He walks up to Sally and raises her head and whispers in her ears, "I got this, don't worry."

With that Christ turned around and looked at God, "Hey Dad, how are you?"

"Hey Son, I am good and you?"  God said.

"Listen, I was listening to Satan but he left out something very important, see Sally here, well, she was baptized and is one of my sisters, she has been washed by my blood, I paid her debt."  Christ proclaimed.

"Well son, why didn't you say so!  Case dismissed, Sally welcome home!"  And with that, Sally was lead to the freedom of Heaven.

Interesting story huh?  You can almost imagine it!  Just put yourself there as Sally, standing before God, Satan reading off all you did wrong in your life, but Christ with just one sentence making things perfect and you were set free!

Saturday, July 15, 2017

Guilt of being a Christian and Lesbian...Is there any?

Can any of you prove me guilty of sin? If I am telling the truth, why don’t you believe me?
John 8:46

Today I got an email that asked a very important question. It was "Please how do you handle the guilt of being a Christian and a lesbian?"  I have been meaning to write on this subject for some time now and just not gotten to it.  I get asked this a lot believe it or not.

I honestly don't have any guilt.  Not from that!  Sure I have guilt in my life, but it stems from sins that are not because I am gay.  I don't feel being gay as a sin.  I have read too many books on the matter and studied too much to believe that it is wrong to be gay.  I honestly believe that I didn't just wake up one day and say "Hey, I think I am gay"  No, I know I was born this way.

Knowing that I came from the womb this way, made this way and knowing that in Genesis 1:26 it says that we are made in God's image, then that means even the gay me is in God's image.  I am not a mistake.  It would be like saying an autistic child is not in God's image when really they are more like God than maybe a lot of us are.

So with this knowledge, I can not feel guilty that I am gay.  Yet that does not say that I can not have the guilt of acting on being gay, so the question is do I?  No!  Not one bit!  Why?  You may be saying, "But Lesley, there is scripture that says it is wrong!"  Is there?  I have studied these scriptures left, right, sideways, and all around.  Read books about them, and come to the conclusion that really it was not the act of homosexuality but the acts of rape and idolatry that they are talking about in them.

Nowhere in the Bible does it actually say, "Homosexuality, the act of a loving committed relationship, is wrong!"  It does say that acts that are of cruel nature, acts that are worshipping other gods are wrong, but not where it is natural for a person to love another and committed to that person.

In 1 John 3, we read of God's love and how we are to love.  I honestly believe that where there is love, then there is God.  Where there is hate, then there is not God.  How then can you explain that a gay couple can flourish and grow who love's God and each other?  Because God is in their life!  I am single, I love God, and since I have come home to the church, pronounced my love of God, and moved forward in my walk with God, He has been evident in my life!  How you may ask?  Well, I have been flourished at work with more sales that increased my pay, got a better living arrangement, got a brand new car, this blog has flourished, and I have been blessed with a slew of new friends.

So no, I don't feel guilty being gay and Christian.  I love that I am both!  I don't have an issue with it.  And I pray for the day when one doesn't have to say "Gay Christian" and we are all just Christian.  Just like I pray for the day we are all just people not straight or gay, but just people.  Till then, I don't mind being the Church of Christ Lesbian plowing through this world one blog post at a time hoping to help others know it is okay and to form your own opinion that there are others of us out there!

God bless you and know you don't have to feel guilty!

Saturday, July 8, 2017

You are not alone!

 Don’t be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, “I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,” we can boldly quote,

God is there, ready to help;
I’m fearless no matter what.
Who or what can get to me?
Hebrews  13:5-6

In life it is easy to think that we are alone.  I fight with this a lot.  I soon will be living alone with just my dog and part of me thinks that life will be like this forever.  I forget though that I am truly not alone.  I have friends, I have family, and I have God.

It is easy though for my mind to say things like "they will leave" or "they are not here now with you" and for me to get depressed.  Yet I don't have to look far to find scripture that says God is right there with me.  I need that!

This world can get lonely, friends may leave, family dies, and at times you will reach out and no one is able to be there, but God always reaches back.  One reason I love having a dog, is no matter what, she is there.  I can snuggle up to her, and tell my day to her.  Well, no matter what, I can pray and tell my day to God.  I may not always feel God, but I can tell my day to God.

And when I really need a human touch, I have prayed for God to send someone and you know what, someone has always appeared.  Maybe not who I thought or how I thought, but someone has always appeared to be there for me.  And sometimes, it is them reaching out for help.  Which got me out of me!

We are not alone in this world, God made us to be social!  That is why He gave us a church family.  Utilize that!  Reach out to them.  Get to know them!  Make connections!  How else are you to have people who care if you don't get to know them?

And this goes to me too!  I am horrible at reaching out and getting to know mine.  I don't go eat with people and go to functions where I get to know them.  I don't participate in extra things.  I say hi to just a few.  But I am working on it.

Church is important and surrounding yourself with God's people is important.  Well, I am going to leave it with that and go join my church in playing some softball!  Taking my own words to heart!

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Christian Lesbian Dating In A Non-Christian World

Get up, my dear friend, fair and beautiful lover—come to me! Look around you: Winter is over; the winter rains are over, gone! Spring flowers are in blossom all over. The whole world’s a choir—and singing! Spring warblers are filling the forest with sweet arpeggios. Lilacs are exuberantly purple and perfumed, and cherry trees fragrant with blossoms. Oh, get up, dear friend, my fair and beautiful lover—come to me! Come, my shy and modest dove— leave your seclusion, come out in the open. Let me see your face, let me hear your voice. For your voice is soothing and your face is ravishing.
Song of Solomon 2:16-17

I have found it very different dating today then when I dated before I became a Christian.  In the past, I would not care about things like sex, drinking, and so forth.  Yet now I do.  I don't want to just jump in bed with anyone, especially on the first date.  And I don't want to be on a date where all they do is drink up the bar.

I do look for women with similar values and I ask if they are Christian or not.  I get, I believe but I don't go to church or anything.  I get it.  I mean the church has not always been there for the LGBT community.  So why go?  Yet, I want to meet someone that will go with me.  Is that too much to ask?

Today, I meet these women and they seem to be more about when can we have sex then building a relationship.  If that is all it is about, then I am not for them.  I am also not looking for a uhaul date.  I want to build a relationship.  I want a foundation.  

I keep wondering where my person is.  You know, that one that lives a Christian life, wants to build a relationship before jumping into bed, that doesn't find it necessary to get drunk every chance they get, and is stable in their life.  Some one that I can walk beside and support as they do me.

Dating in a world full of the opposite though is tough.  You have to get out there and just meet people and have the time they want to meet at some bar.  Why?  Cause the only place that is truly open to lesbians having a date is the lesbian bar cause there is not a lesbian coffee house.  Or besides online, the only place to meet others is at the bar cause they are not at the churches.

That is the sad thing, you can't meet a good Christian woman at church because even if they are there, you don't know it.  I would love to walk into my church one day and meet the lady of my dreams.  Maybe one day, but today is not the day.

For now, it is online sites with the hope that I can meet someone that is not too out there in the world.  One of the things though that does help, before I reach out to anyone, I pray about it.  I ask God to be involved in the interaction.  If it is to be a good one, then let it be.  I ask that He also let me be a testament to Him and be firm in my beliefs and not falter just cause she is cute.

That is hard.  There are times that I meet someone and they are very beautiful, there is much chemistry and we hit it off.  And oh how I would love to do more then just kiss them.  For goodness sake I am still alive!  I choose not to because I choose to wait till I am in a committed relationship contracted under God.  So I have a choice to make, follow my heart and brain or follow my glands.  That is when prayer comes in, I pray that God keeps me on track.

I have learned that it is easier to date when I bring God into the equation and let Him take the lead.  Those that are not meant to be there for me, seem to disappear.  Those that have some purpose in my life even if not to date, stay in it.  But no matter what I must have God first!

Monday, June 26, 2017

Story time - A Pride Story She couldn't walk away!

There she was, listening to him spit out his vial words.  Wondering how this was to lead people to God.  He shouted things like "God hates your sin and you won't go to heaven" and "You are evil"  He was turning red with anger and you could see his frustration that people were not listening to him, or if they were, they were not doing what he wanted.

Julie, a newly baptized Christian, feeling a little spunky, just couldn't sit there though and watch this without saying something.  Though she had just been baptized, she was raised in the church.  She knew the Bible inside out.  She studied it and read all she could about the scriptures that were against homosexuality.  She also read many more.  Here was her chance, she had blown it when her father came at her, but now, she knew she could do it!

Walking firm holding on to her cross necklace, she marched up to the guy, through the crowd, and got his attention. She then quoted scripture to him, Starting with Matthew 7:1-5 Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

"You have a plank of homosexuality in your eye mam, get it out before you burn!" he spatted back.

She came at him with "Luke 6:37 Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."

"I am to tell you of your sin, I am to to judge you!  You are living in sin!  You are an abomination to God, you are going to Hell"

"You can judge for God?" She comely asked.

"He has charged us to deliver each other from sin, and you are living an unatural lifestyle!" he yelled at her.

"Unnatural? Then why are there animals who are homosexual?"

"Because they live in sin!"

"Animals sin?"

"Yes because of Adam and Eve, all creatures sin!"

"Oh really, interesting"

"You are not a Christian and you must be born again and repent!"

"I am a Christian and been born again!" Julie said confidently

"Do you even know what that means?"

"Do you?"

"I asked you first" His voice still raising and yelling at her.

"John 3 tells us we are born again when we are born through the water and spirit aka baptism, full immersion, done after admission that Christ is the son of God and our Savior." Julie replies calmly.

"No, you don't know, and if that is what you believe then you are not born again!" He yells at her.

Seeing that she was not going to get any where and that the crowd was getting restless and that they were starting to want more then an argument with the guy, Julie thought quick.  She spouted out one more scripture "Romans  14:1-4 Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.  For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume he should only be a vegetarian and eat accordingly. But since both are guests at Christ’s table, wouldn’t it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn’t eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God’s welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help."

"I will never fellowship with anyone that doesn't see it my way as it is God's way!" He shouted at her!

"Then you leave me one choice!" She calmly said.

Then Julie took a deep breath, braced herself, and with the loudest voice she could muster, she let out these words: "Heavenly Father, God above all, Hear our prayer, bless us this day and bless this man and bring peace to him and help him deal with this ego that he has.  Help him find that he does not have to find the specks in others eyes when he has many in his own to deal with.  It is okay God, I know he thinks he is doing your work, but he doesn't know the damage he is doing.  Help him move on and find a better use of his energy.  God, loving father, we bow before you, We your people help us show your love to those that don't show us your love.  Help us show your mercy that won't think twice to show it to us.  Let us show that we are all your children!  God, great Father, walk with us guiding us in love!  It is in your son's name we come, amen!"

When Julie opened her eyes, he was silent, he picked up his speaker and walked away.  The crowed cheered. And Julie started one last thing she got them to chant, God is love!

Proud of herself, she whispered, "Thank you God, you did that!"

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Accepting the gay you from others!

Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.

For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume he should only be a vegetarian and eat accordingly. But since both are guests at Christ’s table, wouldn’t it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn’t eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God’s welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help.
Romans 14:1-4

What a powerful scripture!  Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don't see things the way you do!  Not force your belief or only accept those that see things exactly as you do!  But welcome fellow believers.  Accept people as they are.  

For those that don't know, I have been struggling with my own family accepting the fact that I am a lesbian.  They think that I can't be a lesbian and a Christian.  They use the scripture to say this, though I have studied the same ones and see it different.  They refuse to agree to disagree on this. 

This is a hard pill to swallow.  I mean I accept them. I accept all of them.  I see them accept all of my brother.  He is no saint and I see them accept him.  He drinks, sleeps around, brings over women that he lives with and not married to, and they accept it.  But because it is a straight relationship, it is okay and they accept it.  But me, no, I will never feel this kind of acceptance.

I will never be able to bring home my girlfriend.  I will never be able to have family at my wedding when that happens.  I can't talk about who I am seeing.  I can't talk about what I dream about.  I am expected to live a life alone.  And it hurts.

This is not acceptance.  This is rejection.  This is putting me in a cell.  This is forcing a life on me that is not what I feel God would want for me.  I know that I am not alone in this.  I know that there are others out there that have it even worse.  Who may say, at least your family is talking to you and not disowning you.

At one time they did, I remember it like it was yesterday.  I don't know what happened that changed their mind, but something did.  I guess God.  I know I am blessed that they are talking to me and love me and not turning their back away, but still the fact that they won't accept all of me and that there is a part of my life that they will never be a part of, hurts.

I know walking this life, there are going to be people in this world that don't accept the fact that I am a lesbian.  There are going to be those in the church that won't accept that.  Yet God teaches us to accept fellow believers even when we don't see eye to eye.   And you know what, a friend of mine said it best, "Let's say there is a billion people on this earth and two don't accept you and refuse to.  Well there are 999,999,998 who accept you as you are!"

Monday, June 19, 2017

Can a lesbian be baptized?

We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
Romans 6:4

The simple answer to the question is yes, a lesbian can be baptized!  How do I know? Cause I was just baptized!  I know what you are thinking, you have been writing this blog for awhile and you are saying you just now got baptized?  Well, I was baptized as a kid, say about 12.  I did it then cause my folks wanted, the rest of the kids were doing it, but I didn't believe then.  I believed that others believed, but I didn't.  I wanted to make others happy.

So, now as an adult, I started questioning that baptism.  Was it for real?  I never questioned it before and always called myself a Christian, but now that I was taking God serious and really believing, I wanted things to be right.

So after much meditation, talking with the preacher, and prayer, I did it.  I took the plunge.  And you know what, I understand the freedom and high that others talk about now.  I understand feeling clean from it now.  I didn't come out of saying I am straight, no I am still gay.  I didn't come out perfect, I will still have faults, I am human after all.  Yet, I came out feeling like I have a clean slate, like a new person who now has a fresh start in life.

I came out not feeling guilty for the first time in years.  I imagine I was and am the first lesbian that my church has ever baptized.  Yet I know I won't be the last.  I know, now, that I can be used by God to the full extent He has planned as truly one of His children.

I am found now, no longer lost.  I died to self and raised in Him.  So yes, if you are gay, you can be baptized and that part of you, will still be there!  It is part of you!  God just takes away that which is sinful and the past that made you unacceptable in His eyes.

So, now, what will this mean for me?  Who knows?  All I know, is now that I am God's child through baptism, I will serve Him how He has me.  It is no longer me driving!

Below is my own baptism!