Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Christian Lesbian Dating In A Non-Christian World

Get up, my dear friend, fair and beautiful lover—come to me! Look around you: Winter is over; the winter rains are over, gone! Spring flowers are in blossom all over. The whole world’s a choir—and singing! Spring warblers are filling the forest with sweet arpeggios. Lilacs are exuberantly purple and perfumed, and cherry trees fragrant with blossoms. Oh, get up, dear friend, my fair and beautiful lover—come to me! Come, my shy and modest dove— leave your seclusion, come out in the open. Let me see your face, let me hear your voice. For your voice is soothing and your face is ravishing.
Song of Solomon 2:16-17

I have found it very different dating today then when I dated before I became a Christian.  In the past, I would not care about things like sex, drinking, and so forth.  Yet now I do.  I don't want to just jump in bed with anyone, especially on the first date.  And I don't want to be on a date where all they do is drink up the bar.

I do look for women with similar values and I ask if they are Christian or not.  I get, I believe but I don't go to church or anything.  I get it.  I mean the church has not always been there for the LGBT community.  So why go?  Yet, I want to meet someone that will go with me.  Is that too much to ask?

Today, I meet these women and they seem to be more about when can we have sex then building a relationship.  If that is all it is about, then I am not for them.  I am also not looking for a uhaul date.  I want to build a relationship.  I want a foundation.  

I keep wondering where my person is.  You know, that one that lives a Christian life, wants to build a relationship before jumping into bed, that doesn't find it necessary to get drunk every chance they get, and is stable in their life.  Some one that I can walk beside and support as they do me.

Dating in a world full of the opposite though is tough.  You have to get out there and just meet people and have the time they want to meet at some bar.  Why?  Cause the only place that is truly open to lesbians having a date is the lesbian bar cause there is not a lesbian coffee house.  Or besides online, the only place to meet others is at the bar cause they are not at the churches.

That is the sad thing, you can't meet a good Christian woman at church because even if they are there, you don't know it.  I would love to walk into my church one day and meet the lady of my dreams.  Maybe one day, but today is not the day.

For now, it is online sites with the hope that I can meet someone that is not too out there in the world.  One of the things though that does help, before I reach out to anyone, I pray about it.  I ask God to be involved in the interaction.  If it is to be a good one, then let it be.  I ask that He also let me be a testament to Him and be firm in my beliefs and not falter just cause she is cute.

That is hard.  There are times that I meet someone and they are very beautiful, there is much chemistry and we hit it off.  And oh how I would love to do more then just kiss them.  For goodness sake I am still alive!  I choose not to because I choose to wait till I am in a committed relationship contracted under God.  So I have a choice to make, follow my heart and brain or follow my glands.  That is when prayer comes in, I pray that God keeps me on track.

I have learned that it is easier to date when I bring God into the equation and let Him take the lead.  Those that are not meant to be there for me, seem to disappear.  Those that have some purpose in my life even if not to date, stay in it.  But no matter what I must have God first!

Monday, June 26, 2017

Story time - A Pride Story She couldn't walk away!

There she was, listening to him spit out his vial words.  Wondering how this was to lead people to God.  He shouted things like "God hates your sin and you won't go to heaven" and "You are evil"  He was turning red with anger and you could see his frustration that people were not listening to him, or if they were, they were not doing what he wanted.

Julie, a newly baptized Christian, feeling a little spunky, just couldn't sit there though and watch this without saying something.  Though she had just been baptized, she was raised in the church.  She knew the Bible inside out.  She studied it and read all she could about the scriptures that were against homosexuality.  She also read many more.  Here was her chance, she had blown it when her father came at her, but now, she knew she could do it!

Walking firm holding on to her cross necklace, she marched up to the guy, through the crowd, and got his attention. She then quoted scripture to him, Starting with Matthew 7:1-5 Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

"You have a plank of homosexuality in your eye mam, get it out before you burn!" he spatted back.

She came at him with "Luke 6:37 Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."

"I am to tell you of your sin, I am to to judge you!  You are living in sin!  You are an abomination to God, you are going to Hell"

"You can judge for God?" She comely asked.

"He has charged us to deliver each other from sin, and you are living an unatural lifestyle!" he yelled at her.

"Unnatural? Then why are there animals who are homosexual?"

"Because they live in sin!"

"Animals sin?"

"Yes because of Adam and Eve, all creatures sin!"

"Oh really, interesting"

"You are not a Christian and you must be born again and repent!"

"I am a Christian and been born again!" Julie said confidently

"Do you even know what that means?"

"Do you?"

"I asked you first" His voice still raising and yelling at her.

"John 3 tells us we are born again when we are born through the water and spirit aka baptism, full immersion, done after admission that Christ is the son of God and our Savior." Julie replies calmly.

"No, you don't know, and if that is what you believe then you are not born again!" He yells at her.

Seeing that she was not going to get any where and that the crowd was getting restless and that they were starting to want more then an argument with the guy, Julie thought quick.  She spouted out one more scripture "Romans  14:1-4 Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.  For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume he should only be a vegetarian and eat accordingly. But since both are guests at Christ’s table, wouldn’t it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn’t eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God’s welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help."

"I will never fellowship with anyone that doesn't see it my way as it is God's way!" He shouted at her!

"Then you leave me one choice!" She calmly said.

Then Julie took a deep breath, braced herself, and with the loudest voice she could muster, she let out these words: "Heavenly Father, God above all, Hear our prayer, bless us this day and bless this man and bring peace to him and help him deal with this ego that he has.  Help him find that he does not have to find the specks in others eyes when he has many in his own to deal with.  It is okay God, I know he thinks he is doing your work, but he doesn't know the damage he is doing.  Help him move on and find a better use of his energy.  God, loving father, we bow before you, We your people help us show your love to those that don't show us your love.  Help us show your mercy that won't think twice to show it to us.  Let us show that we are all your children!  God, great Father, walk with us guiding us in love!  It is in your son's name we come, amen!"

When Julie opened her eyes, he was silent, he picked up his speaker and walked away.  The crowed cheered. And Julie started one last thing she got them to chant, God is love!

Proud of herself, she whispered, "Thank you God, you did that!"

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Accepting the gay you from others!

Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.

For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume he should only be a vegetarian and eat accordingly. But since both are guests at Christ’s table, wouldn’t it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn’t eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God’s welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help.
Romans 14:1-4

What a powerful scripture!  Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don't see things the way you do!  Not force your belief or only accept those that see things exactly as you do!  But welcome fellow believers.  Accept people as they are.  

For those that don't know, I have been struggling with my own family accepting the fact that I am a lesbian.  They think that I can't be a lesbian and a Christian.  They use the scripture to say this, though I have studied the same ones and see it different.  They refuse to agree to disagree on this. 

This is a hard pill to swallow.  I mean I accept them. I accept all of them.  I see them accept all of my brother.  He is no saint and I see them accept him.  He drinks, sleeps around, brings over women that he lives with and not married to, and they accept it.  But because it is a straight relationship, it is okay and they accept it.  But me, no, I will never feel this kind of acceptance.

I will never be able to bring home my girlfriend.  I will never be able to have family at my wedding when that happens.  I can't talk about who I am seeing.  I can't talk about what I dream about.  I am expected to live a life alone.  And it hurts.

This is not acceptance.  This is rejection.  This is putting me in a cell.  This is forcing a life on me that is not what I feel God would want for me.  I know that I am not alone in this.  I know that there are others out there that have it even worse.  Who may say, at least your family is talking to you and not disowning you.

At one time they did, I remember it like it was yesterday.  I don't know what happened that changed their mind, but something did.  I guess God.  I know I am blessed that they are talking to me and love me and not turning their back away, but still the fact that they won't accept all of me and that there is a part of my life that they will never be a part of, hurts.

I know walking this life, there are going to be people in this world that don't accept the fact that I am a lesbian.  There are going to be those in the church that won't accept that.  Yet God teaches us to accept fellow believers even when we don't see eye to eye.   And you know what, a friend of mine said it best, "Let's say there is a billion people on this earth and two don't accept you and refuse to.  Well there are 999,999,998 who accept you as you are!"

Monday, June 19, 2017

Can a lesbian be baptized?

We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
Romans 6:4

The simple answer to the question is yes, a lesbian can be baptized!  How do I know? Cause I was just baptized!  I know what you are thinking, you have been writing this blog for awhile and you are saying you just now got baptized?  Well, I was baptized as a kid, say about 12.  I did it then cause my folks wanted, the rest of the kids were doing it, but I didn't believe then.  I believed that others believed, but I didn't.  I wanted to make others happy.

So, now as an adult, I started questioning that baptism.  Was it for real?  I never questioned it before and always called myself a Christian, but now that I was taking God serious and really believing, I wanted things to be right.

So after much meditation, talking with the preacher, and prayer, I did it.  I took the plunge.  And you know what, I understand the freedom and high that others talk about now.  I understand feeling clean from it now.  I didn't come out of saying I am straight, no I am still gay.  I didn't come out perfect, I will still have faults, I am human after all.  Yet, I came out feeling like I have a clean slate, like a new person who now has a fresh start in life.

I came out not feeling guilty for the first time in years.  I imagine I was and am the first lesbian that my church has ever baptized.  Yet I know I won't be the last.  I know, now, that I can be used by God to the full extent He has planned as truly one of His children.

I am found now, no longer lost.  I died to self and raised in Him.  So yes, if you are gay, you can be baptized and that part of you, will still be there!  It is part of you!  God just takes away that which is sinful and the past that made you unacceptable in His eyes.

So, now, what will this mean for me?  Who knows?  All I know, is now that I am God's child through baptism, I will serve Him how He has me.  It is no longer me driving!

Below is my own baptism!

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Christ accepts Gays, Why can't others?

When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. “Lord,” he said, “my servant lies at home paralyzed, suffering terribly.”

Jesus said to him, “Shall I come and heal him?”

The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.”

When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, “Truly I tell you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

Then Jesus said to the centurion, “Go! Let it be done just as you believed it would.” And his servant was healed at that moment.
Matthew 8:5-13

The words for this slave in Greek used for a slave in this passage were pais (Matthew) and entimos doulos (Luke). Pais meant a male sex slave where entimos doulos meant honored slave. I have been studying this scripture left and right. I just keep trying to make sure that I am right in this. I mean it is a big deal, Christ healing a person no matter what is a big deal but to even hint that he healed a male sex slave that was used in a homosexual relationship that involved a loving relationship? Wow! Mind was blown! This just shows that we have such a limited mind that we can't believe that God would have anything to do with homosexuality when in fact He does.

I can just imagine this scripture today. Here is a man going to the great healer. Scared for his lover that he might die, but knowing this man he hears about can heal him. Yet he is a Roman and the other a Jew. And it is not just anyone that he wants to be healed, it is his beloved male lover. True a slave, but someone he loves and someone that he can't imagine his life without.

He approaches Christ, probably timidly at first. He does not even say come heal him, he says what is wrong with him. Christ has to ask if he wants Him to heal him. The Roman then says all you have to do is say the word and he is healed. Christ then praises him for his belief and faith. He does not mock him for his homosexual relationship. He doesn't tell him to stop it. He simply says, "Hey yall, see this, this is the kind of faith you should have!"

Christ was an amazing man, not just because He was and is God's son, but because of how He accepted people. Here He could have said, "You are living in sin, I am not going to heal your slave!" Yet He didn't! He didn't even tell him to stop living like this. Usually, Christ would say to someone that He healed and was doing something wrong in His eyes, go and sin no more, but He didn't say that to this man.

So if Christ, our example of God's love in action on Earth, accepted and showed love and healing to a gay man, why can't we? Okay, I do, but I am gay. It just saddens me that others don't. God is a loving God, not one of hate. And where there is hate, there is not God!

God showed love to this Roman Centurion and his male lover who happened to be a slave. God shows love to the gays now and blesses us! How else do you think we are prosperous in our lives? God shows love to us, so why can't those who proclaim Him not do the same?

Oh I know, because they don't know God, they don't know what it means to be Christ-like! If they did then they would act differently. To know God means to know that we do not speak for Him. To know God means to know He is the God of acceptance. To know God means to know He is a God of love. To know God means to know that we have no place standing in judgment of another.

I know that I am preaching to the choir, I know that most who read this are already accepting to gays or are gay themselves. Why else would you be reading? I wrote this though for a hope that maybe, just maybe someone who doesn't stumble across this blog and gets another view and opens their ears and eyes to acceptance!

I truly believe God is sitting up there saying, "Come on yall, you are better than this! I taught to love and acceptance, not hate! I never once said I hate you to one person!" Yes, you just read that right, God never once said: "I hate you!" He did say He hates the sin, but sin is not the person! I think this is where we get off track. And homosexuality, well, it is one of those things that we are going to have to agree to disagree on.

To some, like me, it is not a sin. To others, like my parents, it is a sin. Yet it doesn't matter, cause in the end, it will be God who we answer to! And I look at it this way, if I live a Christ-like life, I don't feel He is going to say "Lesley, you led people to me, you did right on so many levels, I forgave you of your sins, but this one thing, you being gay, it is stopping you from getting in." That would be like saying a person who is divorced and remarried is not going to Heaven.

No Christ healed a gay man, He showed love and acceptance. He praised his faith. You know what I take from that, God puts our faith in Him, our love, as more important than anything. So before you hate on a person because they are different, think would Christ? NO! He would accept them, heal them, and love them! He was the great acceptor!

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Agree to disagree ~ fighting against the Gays

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Matthew 5:9

You know most times the whole arguing about being gay and the Bible saying it is wrong does not get to me, but at times it does.  I wish at times I was better prepared or quicker to respond to it than I am when it comes up.  Yet I am not.

The Bible says to be a peacemaker though.  I am not to argue, but yet it is hard to not argue and fight for my rights.  I want to be heard and my side be known.  I want to be right.  Yet what is more important, to be right or have peace of mind and know that I am right in God's eyes?

It is easy to get caught up in the battle and loose focus on the war.  It is easy to get caught up on a hurdle and loose focus on the destination.  This fight is not about changing one or two people, but a movement of hundreds.  This is not even a war, and when we stop looking at it as that, when we address it from a peaceful movement, we can do much more.

You may be saying, but Lesley it is a war, we are being attacked daily.  Yes we are, but should we attack back or should we take the high road?  What would be more Christ like?  When He was attacked did He attack back?  No, he gave love back.  And so should we. 

And man is that hard.  Last night I was double teamed by my parents.  Told I was not really a Christian cause I am gay.  Preached to about how it is wrong to be gay.  And all I could do is sit there.  I cried inside cause here the two people I love, attacked me.  Yet, I am to honor them, not attack back.  So what can I do?  Pray for them!  Pray that we can agree to disagree, that we can have harmony, that we can have peace.

This is a time when we have had great strides to be far from where we were, but we have a long way to go!  And approaching it out of love and through prayer is not giving up, it is just taking it to God and letting Him approach it in a better way then we can.  And trust me, He can do miracles to open doors that we can't do!  He can bring it much easier and with less heartache!  And best part, when we do it God's way, we are following His word and not pushing our own agenda.

So fighting, well it can be done in love and peacefully.  It can be done by taking it to God.  It can be done without looking at it as a war, but a movement.  And in time things will change!  In the mean time, we can educate ourselves, we can educate others, we can pray, we can support each other, and we can build a network of others that support us too!  We are not alone and we have a God that will bless us if we only allow Him to do it His way!

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

You're not God's pet!

He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.
John 1:11-13

Last night I was scared.  I thought I had lost my dog.  I looked all over the back yard and she was no where to be found.  I got in my car and started searching the neighborhood, still no luck.  Then I expanded my search, and looked through the attaching neighborhoods.  I drove around for over an hour, praying and searching for my dog.  I was at a loss.  Stopping and asking everyone I saw, have you seen a little black dog.  Of course, no one saw her.

Finally I gave up, I went home and sat in the back yard and just cried my eyes out.  I prayed a prayer and cried.  Here I thought I lost her forever.  Next thing I knew, she came running back through the fence to me!  I jumped up in joy, my tears turned from pain to happy tears! I hugged her and wanted to throw a party!  My dog, my baby, my companion was home!  I told her "Don't ever do that again, you scared me!"  and "I love you!" like she could understand me, but she stood there and smiled and wagged her tail like she knew I loved her and understood!  And today, I am still shook up from it all and when I get home the first thing I will do is make sure the patch job I did on the hole she got out with held up.

It makes me think though, about God, how he values us more so then we value our pets.  I mean he talks about how precious we are to him and how valued the lost is and how important it is to find them.  There is three stories found about that in Luke 15.  First the lost sheep, then the lost coin, and finally the lost son.

I wonder, was God like me when I was lost in the world?  Did He look for me?  Did He give up and just cry?  Did He ask if I had been seen? And did God jump up and down when I came back to the church?  Did He say to the angels she is back!  And did he say to me, "Don't ever do that again, you scared me!"  and "I love you" and I not understand?  But I smiled and felt His love that day?  Does He still look to make sure I don't wonder too far?

I like to think that God does look for us when we are lost, He just uses people to do that.  He doesn't give up on us, but does cry for us.  And of course He jumps up and down when we come back to Him!  He rejoices when we return to His love!  

To God, we mean everything.  We are not pets.  We are children whom He loves.  When we are lost, He hurts, when we are found, He rejoices.  We are valuable no matter which way we are, but I tell you what, I would rather be found then lost!

Why?  Cause when found, I have shelter from the storm, warm place to sleep, food on the table, comfort, and a home!  Lost, I am alone and scared! But that is for another blog, right now, I just know as much as I love my dog, it is nothing compared to the love God has for me!